That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
