the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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