She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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