I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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