I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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