It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
