mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
