Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize