She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
