she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
