The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
