i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I understand Curling. That high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I need moral support for this bender
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
