hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
