her vagine was all disorganized.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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