remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
