and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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