oh god the rape fog is back!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
