So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
