he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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