i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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