I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
