I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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