my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
