textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
