I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
