Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She even gives head with a lisp.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
