This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
