anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
