Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
