Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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