Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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