I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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