Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
