May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
