True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
