before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
