STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize