Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
