I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
