No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
