I hate all girls vehemently.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
