The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
