Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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