I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
