Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
