Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
