How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sober January is a disaster.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
