Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
