I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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