I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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