Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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