so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
