Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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