I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
